The G Word

I am missing the deadline for Taxes this month, guess I better not be late on my Blog.
I did try and file my Q4 Taxes, yet the State’s website, didn’t like my Math, and I could only enter the numbers I received from my Accountant, so many ways. Usually, the State says some of the math may not be right, though, we are willing to take your $, and sort out the difference, later. I have been filing my own Taxes with the State of Washington since becoming a contractor in 1996. I wish I was smarter. Actually, when I was audited at “random” by the Department of Revenue about 5 years ago, the State Auditor told me after reviewing 4 years of my records, that I was “basically an honest person trying to do the best they can”. I’d like to think so. Yet I can’t help and wish that business was easier to understand. I do think it is only a matter of time before I give up my Contractor’s license, as it isn’t really a Living anymore, and like I’ve mentioned, paperwork keeps getting harder. I am trying to keep open to possibilities. I have some promising prospects.
It has been 3 years, since I started a Blog on Face Book. I jumped ship last summer, and bought a perch on Word Press. I am surprised to find Views from Ireland, the U.K. and Spain! Most of my Readers are in the USA, and I am pleased to say that over a quarter are Canadian! Maybe now is an appropriate time to disclose a duplicitous scheme I came up with. I am thinking about joining the American Flag with the Canada’s. But wait, I am also thinking of making some versions with a red circle and the Flag crossed out. I am going to clean up!
My daughter won’t help me, and graphics aren’t my forte. Anyways it’s an idea, and from what I gather, legally my own. I have teased Canadians often in past Blogs, and I am going to show Mercy toward my Neighbors to the North (though an awful lot are at the Trader Joe’s less than a kilometer east, from where I call home.
Actually, I want to say some difficult, hard things to my fellow Americans, Canadians, et al. And it isn’t going to be fun, so I will put it off till later (the American Way). I will get the pleasantries out; still I think one of the missing secrets is more foreplay.
I am glad to be on the other side of the Holidays! Don’t get me wrong. It was good, just glad it’s not all the time. I will say as an unsolicited opinion; for some odd reason it seems that many Canadians I encounter remind me of Americans a couple decades back (not that I think Canadians are backwards, or behind the times; In many ways, the USA’s closest Friend). Of course we have our spats.
How holy is it to cross a Border primarily to be able to Shop, Dine and be entertained better than in one’s own Country? It is not hard to notice that many of the Canadians I meet seem to make a more comfortable living than myself, and many of my friends. I try and not hold anyone’s success against them personally. Sorry Warren, I am not there yet, (maybe it is all your Coal Trains, though they are killing people, making many sick, and returning Dividends to Share Holders). [Disowning your Grand Daughter for speaking in a documentary about $: Priceless]
I deliberately don’t write much about politics. And other than my ventures in Theology with my son, I try and keep a sage mouth. As I learned in Quaker based Consensus Decision Making I was fortunate to learn while at the RiverFarm in 1989; This Person speaks my mind.” There is a difference between apathy, and trusting that one’s concerns are most often shared. I have been thinking about what are We the People not talking about?
I do think there are some subjects that need more attention, though they are difficult to loquat, very easy to get into familiar squabbles. Dang, I guess I am getting serious.
Seems like there is some things we aren’t talking about. I am going to punt, with a fumbling metaphor. I smell Brimstone! It was difficult to sort out, over the smell of the Garbage, burnt Hair and plastic. The Nose can only take so much, remarkable Organ that it is. Visually I am reminded there is broken glass, and beer on the pavement and the bar floor, sometimes peanuts still. I guess there is the stink of old $ too, still a rather unremarkable vintage. I know thoughts of Sex are in the minds of many, cause hay, half of us are men. A Man can get it on, or at least is willing to try, and has, in Battle, during fires, and of course, while injured.
This is not at all impossible for women, though Broadly Speaking well, let me instead mention an anecdote from a Friend. He was with a women and another couple, and yes alcohol was a factor. He squatted in a Monastery in the Bay Area for several months before the monks kicked him out for bringing a woman in with him. At some point after getting 86’ed, many months, perhaps years later, he broke into the Spread, not to steal, rather he and a Friend needed a place to bring 2 women they met at a bar. He cut his arm in the process of breaking a pane of glass; it required several dozen stitches, later. “What did you do?” I asked. “Tied my sock around my arm, and we got it on!” “Good for you!” I slapped him on the back. Guys are odd. I am going to say this is hearsay, except he is my best friend in California, and we have been pals since we were 14.
If this were the last thing I ever got to write, is there anything I’d want to say? I want my Family to know I loved them; sorry I lost my temper over so many things that didn’t matter. I won’t miss stepping on Lego’s in the Middle of the Night! I imagine one wing of Hell(at least), is made of layers of small broken toys and plastic packaging, for miles and miles. I bet there are a lot of old batteries, blown speakers, smashed guitars and old Sound Mixers with Cold Joints. There are worse places.
We don’t get near enough warning as humans. Sure many say, do this, don’t do that. Yet that is not exactly a Path, let alone a home, and God knows where love is! I have given thought to human existence, and somehow manage to get out of bed, everyday and try. I apologize to my children once and a while for, “Sorry there are still so many problems in the world; We thought we would have more of them figured out”. That is not to say I have given up, though I did let go of listening to the radio everyday in 2012.
I started walking more last February, and I have noticed a difference. It was a hard year, though many good parts. There have been a couple times in my life, where I have resolved to change, and somehow manage too. Never like I think, that is a secret regarding music gigs; an artist’s shared with me. Made some new friends; seems lost one too. I am trusting time may hold more mysteries.
My Friends and Family are more woven in my soul than I can ever say, and I really can’t say, or don’t want to know the difference. I have been on mountain edges, stumbled several times, and thought of worse a time or two. I have been burned by fire, but never near as bad as by my sins.
I have been thinking about sex a little more than usual. Well, more from an Advisory Role, though I hope to practice more. Being a father, does make me think about things differently. My daughter will be dating soon, and we have agreed that she has my permission, IF they are good to her. I also wonder what the future will be like for my son. I have some concerns, based on my own experience.
I got a card in the mail not long ago. An old housemate from decades back sent me a picture of his newborn son! I like babies, and am especially fond of those I know Stories about their parents. My friend, is several years younger, at the time, I was something of a Mentor. Not that I have a ton of Dating Experience (and I can imagine my daughter’s voice, “Eww, Dad!”). And yet my friend needed some advice. He had a close call, which was actually dangerous. I think he fell in Love. He was smitten, I know, and he exercised “Very Poor Judgment”. Details: He met a beautiful and intelligent woman, and they became involved. Messed Around shall we say? I don’t think they had become Biblical, and yet my friend was hooked. He wanted more. Somehow or another, he decided to go to her house without calling, and let himself in without knocking. It was after Midnight. Well the Object of my friends Desire was not pleased to see him, and she justly yelled at him and told him to get out. What my friend did not know at the time was that not only was this poor judgment, and is illegal, his now suddenly Ex-Girlfriend’s Brother was sleeping over that night. My friend is lucky he only got yelled at.

So I took my friend under my wing, laid out a few Broad Suggestions, which included getting permission to go in anyone’s house. They only other thing I advised was, “you’re going to want to be friends first”. Not everyone agrees, though I have so far in my life. I have lost a friend once, over sex, or at least something near. And yet I don’t regret the experience, or falling in love. It is a rare love that need not be returned.
I have studied history, more than some. I have read myths too. I think they are somewhat inseparable. I know that people fall in love, sometimes on accident. It is possible to have your life changed without kissing. There are some souls who have changed me, which I never have even pecked on the cheek. I don’t regret having sex with anyone in my life (I may have wished I could have a re-take). I can think of a couple times I didn’t go with someone, that I regret, and it caused pain for many years.
Once at the end of HS, I was going out with a woman, (we had spooned) and she called me one night when I was 18, and asked me to come over. I could have. I didn’t trust myself however, because I thought, and this may sound stupid, I thought we might have sex. I think something bad had happened though I don’t know what. Maybe it was only a Bad Day, anyways, we quit going out soon after, as was right.
Around when I was 20, a girlfriend’s girlfriend was dressed as a French Maid at a Halloween Party, and suggested to me that I come visit her soon. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my girl friend, who was not nearly so flattered. Scars, I tell you!
I am so thankful to have been a part of life since 1963, though I guess our stories start at different places. I learned so much, and enjoyed so many fine times. I wrote all my passwords down in the Yellow Notebook. It is imperative we love! Thanks for reading.

PS I have a couple Shower Fixtures that are not Low Flow; I saved them, even though they are illegal. I haven’t installed them, yet.
The Sun shines in my front and my backdoor! The old Blues song rings true in my ears, and although it wasn’t my intention when our house was up in the air, I am thankful things have turned out as they are. That is not to say it wasn’t harder on our Family than I planned. It took a lot longer too. We already had our house’s blueprints stamped by an engineer, less than 3 weeks before I got hit by the Durango from Canada. We put the project on hold a year, while I recovered. Our Credit Union had already approved the money. I didn’t realize how bad I’d been hurt for sometime, and in ways, maybe it is best I don’t. Can’t compare it to anything, except and I am guessing, re-incarnating. Re-Generate is the words on Doctor Who. That is closer to the Gospel’s Gaia Gena (Greek) aka Born Again.
I can recall, especially before having kids, visiting Drinking Establishments with Friends more frequently. I recall raising glasses with my buddies, and talking about various subjects. Even back in the Day, I wished it was easier to get my friends to open up. I remember saying several times, “in my next lifetime I am going to talk about sex”. Though it has taken some years to sort out; I am post Accident- Life Changing as it is. So I find myself thinking, why not try?
I am not an expert, though I think it is fair to say I have given the subject many years of study. I hope to learn more, and yet as Bing Crosby put it, “I am less and less able to do anything about it!’ People will change your life, and many without sex. Yet a higher percentage of people that one is sexual with, will change one’s life than any other well behavior. I recall warning my fellows, that history shows, people Fall in Love, whether willing or not. We don’t talk about it much. The term Unrequited is centuries old, and yet it is one of the roughest paths a soul can journey. And yet I recall the poet’s words,” It is better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all”. Damn Straight.
Now go out there and get hurt. Get healed. Get confused. Gather. Let Go. Breathe. Recycle. Forget. Remember. It is okay, I am not really in charge either. I am trying to Act Free, a trick my friend’s are teaching me. I am a slow learner, though I love too. Forgive us our trespasses… Words that are especially precious among many Native Americans. Ho! Peace.
Majnun’s Memorials were both special. I was able to help provide Sound at the Majestic on the 13Th. There were many souls touched by his kindness, and thoughtfulness. Many souls helped to make the Gatherings special times. Sanctuaries of the Heart, now there’s an idea! This is idea that Majnun worked at. We have heard, and seen, and been touched by a Bodhisattva! Music surprised us, like a thief for Love, willing to risk their honor, time and status, that they might harbor, once more in a secret haven, that none may know.

Well I am going to apologize for not having better reviewed this month’s Blog. I started a few weeks back, like I say each month, where’s the time go?

So for I go, I had a thought, maybe it is about photons and Information Theory. I have some photographs my father gave me from the Apollo Moon Landing. Now some of my friends don’t believe it, however, these Photographs were considered Legal Evidence in the Time of Camera Film. Information Theory, if I understand it correctly thinks Information and Energy maybe related. The Gist is that it is harder to get rid of than we think.
So I was thinking about this photo I have, of a Saturn V Rocket blasting off, as I was taking a walk one day. I thought, actually, some of the photons from that launch were captured in those photographs; isn’t it wild that they still exist? As I was thinking about it I thought that some of those photons were triggering my thinking, and that they are in not only my head (and memories), there in us! Did I write enough about Peace and Love? No way. Well, till next month!